True Love

As I was driving back from work today, I flipped on the radio to a familiar station and heard the song True Love by Pink.  The rhythm was catchy so I kept the station on. But the first words I heard were “I hate you, I really hate you, so I think it must be, true love.” I was taken back right away and suddenly filled with anger! I was so fired up about this song I had to call one of my friends just to vent to her about how frustrated I was that it was mainstreaming on the radio. I just thought, what kind of message is this sending to the world? And even sadder, does this song really represent how our culture feels about love? Is this what we think love is? Things like “You’re an asshole but I love you” and “I hate every single stupid word you say”.  And what about the message it’s sending to girls about being with a guy who doesn’t treat her right. Lyrics like “Why do you rub me up the wrong way and say the things you say? But without you I’m incomplete.” Or “No one else can break my heart like you”.

I have to cry wolf: this message is WRONG. I am not a relationship expert and I am not in a relationship myself, but I do know enough to say that this is not what love is. Whoever came up with the idea that love is actually about hating someone and dealing with it is wrong. Love is selfless, not self-taking; it is about learning to serve another person, not “I wanna wrap my hands around your neck”; it’s about building each other up, not breaking each other down.  And 1 Corinthians tells us, “Love it patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.” The world desperately needs, more than ever, for us to love one another with that kind of love. There are too many people running around hating each other nowadays there’s no wonder we have so many family grudges, divorces, and war. I believe the root of every global issue right now is the devaluing of human life—the result of not loving each other.

And for all those girls and women out there who thinks being with someone who doesn’t treat you right is okay, I need to tell you that you’re wrong. And you deserve better than that.  You deserve to be treated of most value—don’t ever settle for less. You are beautiful. Let me say that again, you are beautiful. Just because you have messed up and made mistakes, or have been treated poorly in the past, does not mean you don’t deserve the best.

I am in my last year of college and in no way in the stage of life to have children, but this issue concerns me for babies being born now and for my kids in the future. My desire it to have my girls, someday, be raised in a world that teaches them about what it really means to love.—and to do it well. My desire is that they will not think of themselves less than they are and they will walk upright, knowing they are beautiful, and loved. And for my boys: that they will learn how to treat a woman well, and with respect. That they will understand how the feminine heart is gentle and kind and it needs to be protected.

The purpose of this response is not to bash Pink or any of the songwriters, producers, or radio hosts for making it mainstream. The purpose is both simply to think critically about the message and its validity and draw us nearer to the true meaning of love.