Presence

What I have thoroughly enjoyed about the Ugandan culture, and I believe this speaks to most of Africa, is that presence in the basis for all human relationships. Simply being with another person, sitting in silence, is more powerful than any mumbled speech just to fill space and alleviate the uncomfortableness a person feels. 

When I was staying with my host family the last two weeks in Mukono, we would eat most of our meals in silence. While this was strange for me at first, because supper is usually a time for catching up on each other’s day, supper was a time to be simply present with each other. I came to enjoy such times because there is so much that happens without communication. In the United States we would measure “time spent together” on the basis of our conversation or activity. While  here in Uganda, spending time together is simple being present. This has worked in my advantage in a lot of ways here because of the language barrier. English is the national language, but most of the people I work with don’t k now English. Since going to school is a privilege and costs money, a lot of people cannot afford the fees and therefore don’t learn English as a language. But as I interact with kids and adults, language hasn’t even been a necessity. I have learned that there is so much communication that happens non-verbally anyways—who knew? One of my closest relationships here in Uganda is with a little Muslim boy names Shehebu—he’s 3. As soon as my van pulls up to the office and I get out of the car, he is running towards me in the same shirt and trousers he was wearing the day before with a big smile on his face yelling “Ali! Ali! Ali!” I have been able to pick up a few phrases from him in Luganda here and there (kids really are the best teachers), but mostly we communication through play. We became buddies just from simply being in the same room.

What would it mean if our relationships weren’t formed by words or actions, but by simply sharing the same air? Would there be less fighting because our value would be in our humanness and not our prestige, social class, race, religion, sex, etc etc etc? I long for this in our world—that each person has value because they are human.

For we ourselves know what it means, as a stranger passes us on the pavement, to catch a fleeting, spontaneous smile and to know we are recognized not by name but simply for our humanity. For a moment our presence to one another, eye to eye and face to face, dispels the isolation and lifts our hearts. –John Taylor

Ali