The Gifts of Imperfection

As I look at my most recent post, I can’t help but cringe that it was April of this year...almost four months ago. I guess what has kept me from blogging, and writing in general, is the belief that I really don’t have anything good to say right now. I’ve felt pretty dry of insight and introspection this summer. Dry of a lot of things really—self-confidence, encouragement, extending grace, and being at ease. This season of life has been filled with more times of anxiety, restlessness, irritability, and stubbornness than anything else really. A few months ago I was given a book by a dear friend called The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. Brene Brown is a social science researcher who has dedicated her career to studying shame and vulnerability. I was introduced to her work in grad school because she also has a background in social work. Her charge is that we let go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embrace who we are. It is not a “how-to” or corny step-by-step book. She speaks the truth about what it means to embrace our imperfections as essentials to wholehearted living.

“Whole-hearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough...”

This is a journey about owning our whole story. Instead of running from our experiences, circumstances, and imperfections, it’s about embracing the vulnerability that comes with being known for who we are.

Brene argues that practicing (Not executing perfectly everytime) courage, compassion, and connection are key things of whole-hearted living. Courage is something I believe the western world has greatly misidentified. The meaning of courage is not necessarily to give ones life (like a superhero), but to give one’s heart—to share in the vulnerability of others. This is simply being the person in a  classroom or in a meeting that voices they don’t understand and need more clarification. This is someone who asks for help. Someone who not only blesses others, but knows how to receive.

Compassion is derived from the words pati and cum meaning “to suffer with”. Compassion is not a relationship between the healthy and sick, it is between equally broken people that share in humanity.  Genuine compassion is only possible when we see ourselves as desperate as the people we serve. It is cultivated by seeing ourselves for who we really are.

When we practice courage and compassion, we then open up the door for connection to take place. We realize we don’t have to do it alone and independence is not solitary. As humans we are wired for deep connections with other people.  Shared experiences. Shared vulnerabilities.  Courage, compassion, and connection are not possible without struggles, without imperfections. This is why they are gifts.

I am doing a blogging series on the 10 guideposts Brene highlights in her book:

 Cultivating Authenticity

 Cultivating Self-Compassion

 Cultivating a resilient spirit

Cultivating gratitude and joy

 Cultivating Intuition and trusting faith

Cultivating creativity

Cultivating play and rest

Cultivating calm and stillness

Cultivating meaningful work

 Cultivating laughter, song, and dance

I hope to share my story including my own vulnerabilities through this book and invite you into yours.