True Love

As I was driving back from work today, I flipped on the radio to a familiar station and heard the song True Love by Pink.  The rhythm was catchy so I kept the station on. But the first words I heard were “I hate you, I really hate you, so I think it must be, true love.” I was taken back right away and suddenly filled with anger! I was so fired up about this song I had to call one of my friends just to vent to her about how frustrated I was that it was mainstreaming on the radio. I just thought, what kind of message is this sending to the world? And even sadder, does this song really represent how our culture feels about love? Is this what we think love is? Things like “You’re an asshole but I love you” and “I hate every single stupid word you say”.  And what about the message it’s sending to girls about being with a guy who doesn’t treat her right. Lyrics like “Why do you rub me up the wrong way and say the things you say? But without you I’m incomplete.” Or “No one else can break my heart like you”.

I have to cry wolf: this message is WRONG. I am not a relationship expert and I am not in a relationship myself, but I do know enough to say that this is not what love is. Whoever came up with the idea that love is actually about hating someone and dealing with it is wrong. Love is selfless, not self-taking; it is about learning to serve another person, not “I wanna wrap my hands around your neck”; it’s about building each other up, not breaking each other down.  And 1 Corinthians tells us, “Love it patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.” The world desperately needs, more than ever, for us to love one another with that kind of love. There are too many people running around hating each other nowadays there’s no wonder we have so many family grudges, divorces, and war. I believe the root of every global issue right now is the devaluing of human life—the result of not loving each other.

And for all those girls and women out there who thinks being with someone who doesn’t treat you right is okay, I need to tell you that you’re wrong. And you deserve better than that.  You deserve to be treated of most value—don’t ever settle for less. You are beautiful. Let me say that again, you are beautiful. Just because you have messed up and made mistakes, or have been treated poorly in the past, does not mean you don’t deserve the best.

I am in my last year of college and in no way in the stage of life to have children, but this issue concerns me for babies being born now and for my kids in the future. My desire it to have my girls, someday, be raised in a world that teaches them about what it really means to love.—and to do it well. My desire is that they will not think of themselves less than they are and they will walk upright, knowing they are beautiful, and loved. And for my boys: that they will learn how to treat a woman well, and with respect. That they will understand how the feminine heart is gentle and kind and it needs to be protected.

The purpose of this response is not to bash Pink or any of the songwriters, producers, or radio hosts for making it mainstream. The purpose is both simply to think critically about the message and its validity and draw us nearer to the true meaning of love.

Blessings: experiences and people

I am officially home. I remember writing my first entry on my journey out west and thinking that this experience could turn out terrible and maybe I wouldn't think it would be worth it. And looking at it in retrospect, it was some of the most difficult times of my life, but also held some of the richest blessings. I cannot explain in words how enriched my summer has been with both the experiences in the mountains and the memories with the people I have had. Not that I ever thought I was going to change the people I came into contact with, but I am realizing more and more how they changed me. I have been so touched by the people I lived with. It was the people who didn’t believe in God who encouraged me never to be ashamed of what I believe in. It was the people who didn’t share the same moral values as me who showed me what it means to serve people well and show hospitality. And it was the people who I had absolutely nothing in common with who showed me the realness of every human heart. I am convinced, more than ever, that everyone has something so unique to offer the world. In the midst of every experience, hardship, and trail in a person’s life, there is something to offer. I believe in the good in all people. I believe in the value of every human heart. And I believe that a crazy-loving and passionate God is pursuing them.

I feel like my life is rich. Just rich. Not by any amount of money or ranking in society, rich because of the memories and the experiences that I will hold so dearly in my heart forever. Nothing can take that away. I wish I could share some of these things, but I know my attempts would fail—words just aren't enough.

I am thankful for safe travels, amazing weather all summer, and the challenges that I learned so much from. Thank you so much for those who have feverishly been praying and supporting me all summer.   

Ali

How Much Do You Love Me?

It is now official that I will be leaving Glacier National Park on Tuesday the 20th to return home to Grand Rapids. It is the best decision concerning my health and also to figure out some other school stuff. This is the last thing I want to do considering I am leaving the place I call home and also the people I call my family. This is going to be extremely difficult for me. I always knew this summer was going to be difficult, but I have been challenged in ways I have never been challenged before--things that have really challenged my worldview and what I believe. This is the hardest stuff I’ve ever faced, but the whisper I keep hearing is this: “How much do you love me, Ali?” As I am the only Christian out in my area, I have challenged this question the whole summer. God is purging me of everything that is in the way of making him number one. I believe that’s what he’s doing in all of our lives—in this sanctification process. He’s not only making us more like himself, but he’s doing it in a way that allows us to love him more freely—to fulfill his greatest commandment for us: to love him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. That has never been more clear to me as it is right now as I struggle and struggle to discover how strong my love for Him is. And I’m finding that my love for him does not stand alone. My love, our love, for him is rooted in his infinite love for us. Rocks my world. 

A few days ago I had my first taste of authentic raw fish from fish we caught in the lake. We fried them in the frying back over the back country stove and ate them...probably the best fish I have ever had. Then I spent some time up in Waterton Lakes, Canada with Brooks and just relaxed, walked the beach, and grabbed some dinner out on the Patio.  This picture is is just a little taste of the beaches up there. Yesterday I hiked this lake called Shangrala, which isn't even on the map, but it felt a little like heaven. It's one of those lake you have to climb up over cliffs to get to and it sits in the chasm of a range of mountains. Spending the afternoon swimming and cliff jumping was exactly what my soul needed. This weekend I will be getting my 250 pin for miles hiked in the park--it's been wild. 

So now I will be road-tripping back to Michigan starting on Tuesday, please pray for safe travels as well as some good alone time in my own thoughts.Thank you thank you thank you for all your prayers.

Ali

Always Ready

Last week I was planning on doing this intense hike called the skyline. You’re not going to find it on the map or in the hiking books; it’s one of those hikes where you have to know people to find out about it. It’s a 20-mile hike that encompasses 4 summits and an incredible ridge walk.  I was supposed to do this hike and was really excited about it, but wasn’t able to go. As I got up early to start the hike, I went over to the sink and thought I was going to be sick—and that’s the last thing I remember. My roommates tell me they woke up to a super loud thud; the thud being my head hitting our wood floor. I found out later I had passed out, hit my head really hard, wasn’t breathing, and didn’t have any eye movement for 2 minutes. One of my roommates ran into the kitchen screaming that I wasn’t breathing and needed help right away. Rangers with sirens, ambulances, and even a helicopter was called in (they cancelled that one though) and I was taken to the ER in Browning, Montana. Anyways, they still don’t know why I passed out and what happened when I hit my head, so this next week and when I return home to Michigan will consist of multiple appointments with neurologists and cardiologists. So I wasn’t able to hike that amazing skyline. As I was bumming about this, and now not able to drive or do any strenuous hiking, I was reminded that I must, at any time, be ready to give up what I had planned. This event happened so fast and I was not prepared to deal with this at all, but I know from past events that must not bank on anything to happen. I was reminded that my life consists of moving to the rhythm of God’s grace. I don’t know what will come out of all this, but I do know that there is a reason, and if I have to leave Glacier National Park because of it, I could do that knowing God has blessed me with many amazing experiences all ready. It’s not easy to think about our lives changing so fast, but it also keeps us in the present—exactly where God wants us, and being thankful for what he is blessing us with in each moment. I hope I don’t have to return home, but if that is where God is calling me, I’m ready.

Last week a guy that I called my friend died on the mountain from a fall. It's been difficult around here dealing with 2 employee deaths in a 17-day span. Please pray for healing for his family, especially his brother who is also working out here in Glacier. This is another example of how things change so fast. One minute we are all having fun climbing mountains and the next we are grieving the death of a friend. I am becoming more thankful each day God blesses me with knowing that he doesn't owe me, or anyone else, another breath on this earth. Thanks for all your prayers already.

Ali

Take me into the beautiful

There is something to be said about beauty. It has been attempted to be defined for thousands of years, and depending on who you talk to, you'll get a different response on what the definition if beauty is. See no one can define beauty because its all who we experience it. But we can all look at something, or experience something, that is beautiful and know what it is-a sunrise, a well-versed poem, a wedding, or a young girl in a fancy bow. How does one define something so vast? And beyond explanation? And then I think maybe beauty isn't necessarily the actual noun we are experiencing, maybe we define beauty by how it makes us feel. Is that okay? I'm not really sure. But what I do know is that beauty, however it's defined, strikes a chord down deep in all of us. It's much deeper than a momentary experience-true beauty makes us come alive. And that's what we are all after. We are all longing to feel complete, and satisfied, and full as a person. And we search our whole lives trying to find and experience that fullness. As I am wrapping up my 5th week here out in Glacier National Park, I have come alive. Being out in the wilderness, falling asleep to vast galaxies and waking up to a golden sunrise reflecting off the mountains, and using the body God has given me  to roam and explore his stunning creation, I'm alive. An when we experience something so deep as this beauty, we are drawn to it, and we long for it. We thirst. And this longing comes from God, the true sense of beauty itself.
I am blessed beyond what I deserve at this point. This experience out here is more than I could have ever imagined both good and bad. The people I work and live with are incredible, there is a great community, and the location of where I get to be all summer are justs few of the many things God has  blessed me with.
Thank you for all your prayers and support!

Ali

Relational ministry: God’s individualized plan to redeem his people

I have now been in Glacier National Park for one week—feels like I know this place so well already. I feel taken care of, pursued, and free, but also challenged, stretched, and convicted. It is clear in Swiftcurrent that I am a Christian. I was flying under the radar for a while because I did not want people to turn from me thinking I would judge them. But I knew it wouldn’t be long before people started to notice that I wasn’t into partying, using curse words, or hooking up. People asked me if I was a Christian, I didn’t even tell them. And I feel incredibly respected. 

My fear was that I wouldn’t have much to talk about with people who were different than me because we didn’t have much in common, but I was SO WRONG. Since our worldviews are so different, we conflict easier—driving our conversation deeper, faster. Within in one week, I have had the most amazing conversations with people.  And they start with simple questions about their life—what’s their story—and then God opens the door uniquely into their heart every time. Multiple people told me their view of Christianity is super judgmental and pushy. I have been asked several times why I don’t push, or try to convert people over to my faith. I simply tell them that I care much more about the value of every human being than trying to change the way they view the world. And while it would be awesome if a revival swept Swiftcurrent and everyone started proclaiming Jesus as Lord and King, I realize my role is to pursue the heart of everyone around me. Because I’m realizing I can’t do any of the heart changing anyway, I just pray that the Spirit of God living within me would stir the souls of those who are around me. And yes, there is room for God to do big things, and I want to give him the opportunity to do that, but ministry is SO played out just in pursuing people. People want to be known, they wanted to be valued. And that is the image of God in them, which is not absent even if they don’t acknowledge him as Lord.

My incredible view every day

So to cap it off, I am full. I am loving it out here and I can’t imagine spending my summer any other way. In one week I have hiked over 40 miles, seen 10 bears, 3 porcupines, moose, elk, mountain, goats, foxes, and been in totally awe of the creation around me.

Please pray for a continual deepening of relationships and for God to work in even more unique ways.

Ali

"The chief beauty about time is that 
you cannot waste it in advance. The
next year, the next day, the next hour
are lying ready for you, as perfect, as
unspoiled, as if you had never wasted
or misapplied a single moment in all your
life. You can turn over a new leaf every
hour if you choose."
-Arnold Bennett

Home

If you ever get a chance to drive across the country, DO IT. I thought I would be bored out of my mind driving 30 hours by myself, but I was pleasently surprised not to be. I thought North Dakota and Montana would for sure be the worst because they are so flat, but they were my favorite states driving highway 2 across Montana gives you an authentic taste of western small town. The two-way highway runs right through small towns every 30 miles or so-and these towns are western. Whoa. Old wooden buildings, no stoplights, rodeos, and men working hard labor in the field strutt'in their cowboy boots and hats-get me one of those! If God called me to a small town in Montana, I could do it.
About 1,600 miles from Grand Rapids, as I could sense myself getting near the end of Montana, the road opened up and there in the horizon, the mountains covered my entire dashboard. I've been looking at flat for 28 hours and all the sudden beautiful, snow-covered, mountains start speaking to me. I cried. I don't exactly know why I get emotional, but I would guess its a combination between complete awe and the feeling like I'm going home. See there is a piece of me that resides in the wilderness; and whenever I get to go back to the mountains, it's as if my heart is reuniting with a piece of itself that stays there. I can't explain it; I can only attempt to describe the feeling. But I feel like I'm home.
I am driving up to Swiftcurrent tonight to get all moved in. I drove up earlier and when I got on that road and saw swiftcurrent lake, I thought I was going to pass out because it was so beautiful. Everyone out here has a wild heart....we will all be great friends.

I say I'm weak, He says he's sufficient

Tomorrow I’m driving across the country to Glacier National Park to embark on a summer-long journey in the mountains. I will be serving with A Christian Ministry in the National Park (ACMNP) as a chaplain, but will also be working full-time as a waitress at The Italian Garden.

I’m wired for adventure and change, but I have to be honest, I’m terrified of leaving home. Absolutely everything is unknown to me at this point. I have great friendships and opportunities I am leaving behind—all for a place filled with people I don’t know. I feel the evil one attack me by saying I won’t have any friends, I won’t be good at my job, and I’ll probably just fail at everything in my ministry and have to go home. Writing this out makes it seem silly to think that way, but it’s real in my head.

But in the midst of myself and satan speaking daunting thoughts to me, I hear God speaking in the background. I don’t always listen to this voice because it certainly is the quieter one unfortunately. Here has been our conversation lately.

Me: I don’t think I can do this. It’s too much for me to handle

                “You can do all things. I will supply all your needs”

Me: I’m afraid. All these unknown places and experiences

                “I have not given you a spirit of fear”

Me: I don’t know if I can make it the whole summer

                “My grace is sufficient for you”

I realize my feelings of inadequacy and insuffiency are exactly where I’m supposed to be. As Henry Blackaby says, “I have come to the place in my life that if the assignment I sense God giving me is something I know I can handle, I know it probably is not from God. The kind of assignments God gives us in the bible are always God-sized. They are always beyond what people can do because He wants to demonstrate his nature, his strength, his provision, his kindness to his people and to a watching world”. Sure, God has lead me to the mountains for the summer to let my spirit be free and unleash the wild heart inside me; but even bigger than that, he has lead me out to the mountains to glorify himself—using  a person whose weakness is attractive to His strength.

I rejoice because I serve an unchanging and infinite God. Although my world is changing, He is not. And though I am small and frail, he is bigger than I understand. And if all else fails, and this experience turns out poorly, at least I will have been enriched by the wilderness and people around me.

Please pray for safe travels, a heart that is open to change, and mind that is ready to have its world rocked. 

Adventure is [in] there

I’m replaying the scene in my head from the movie Up where Carl meets Ellie—the fun-loving, crazy and spontaneous girl—and they are hanging out in the tree-house.

Ellie: I’m going to show you something I have never showed another human being

Carl: What is it?

E: It’s my adventure book!

C: What’s that?

E: It’s all the places I want to go and see and look, look at this! This is Paradise Falls! I am going to put my house right there on that edge! The only thing is, I don’t’ know how I’m  going to get there. Oh! I know! You’ll take me there on a blimp! You have to promise you’ll take me there okay? Cross your heart!

C: shakes head in both excitement about going to Paradise Falls and the fear of what Ellie will do if she doesn’t get there

As Ellie runs out of the tree house excited about her new plan to go to Paradise Falls, she shouts (almost with a spear in her hand ready to charge), “Adventure is out there!”

Hmmmmmmmm. It’s as if this mystery of another world is being pondered in the minds of the viewers. And we all relate to these kids because at one point in our lives we sat out in a tree house somewhere and imagined all the places we wanted to go and all the things we wanted to be.  I used to play in the tree-fort in the backyard and talk about with my best friend about how we were going to follow the equator around the world. Then we would chase the sunset all the way to the other side of the earth. And until I was 12 years old I wanted to be the first woman to play professional baseball; there was not a doubt in my mind. But we all know that those dreams die, because we realize they are not realistic. Stuff like that can’t really happen. Where and when does this shift happen? It’s when we transition from a child’s mind to an adult’s mind. From a child who uses her imagination and finds satisfaction in creating dreams, to a practical, realistic and conservative framework whose only purpose is to “survive” and “live comfortably”. A child dreams are based on their imagination (what’s inside), while an adult focuses their attention on the outside experiences that have tainted their view of who they really are.

Our day-to-day lives seem redundant and valueless. We work today to survive tomorrow…and then work again. It’s as if we are just learning how to survive in a world that desperately needs us to come alive—and thrive. What if we were meant for more than the standard cycle of life? (birth, marriage, childbearing, death) What if we were created for overcoming obstacles, challenges, believing in the unseen, serving people, love? The truth is that we were created for that. It’s not so much about getting to “point B” as it is the journey and dream that got us there. Adventure starts with the daring dreamer inside all of us. So we start to shift from standing at the window, pointing our finger out at the sky saying, "Adventure is out there", to an awareness of the heartbeat inside of us and realize "adventure is in there". When we embark on THAT type of journey we find that adventure is not “out there” anymore, it’s within ourselves.